*writes smut that accidentally turns into angst* *slams head against wall* I WRITE SINS NOT TRAGEDIES
And this is why I try so hard to NOT be friends with anybody. Why do I always end up putting myself in these situations?
I am not selfish enough to just take what I want, because somebody else will end up getting hurt.
This time, like every other time, it is a friend who is going to get hurt. So I will not speak up and I will not tell them how I feel because, get this, I will feel like an asshole for making them feel guilty for telling me their feelings? Does that make any fucking sense?
Why can’t I just not care and do what I want and as I please? Why do I always have to worry about other people? Not hurting other people. Taking other’s feelings into consideration before my own. Why?
Why do I have to feel guilty for liking someone just because somebody else does too? Why do I feel like I can’t act on these feelings now because, of fucking course, somebody will end up getting hurt because I am just being honest? And it’s not like those feelings were going anywhere, it wasn’t leading to anything, but a girl can dream! And, fuck, now here I am. Feeling sorry for myself and wanting to help somebody else before helping myself.
Fuck. This is getting to be really exhausting. Idk if I can do this anymore.
good things about autumn
- wearing layers
- everything has pumpkin flavor in it
- when u step on leaves and they do the crumpy thing
- mornings that are crisp and sweet and cold
- crackly fires
- the drop in temperature brings out an attractive natural flush
- did I mention pumpkins
- those eensy beensy ones
- u know the ones i mean
- autUMN, GUYS